Ivory’s the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have...– - Chelsea Handler (via csanvido)
The only thing I’m worried about is being sticky and walking home stained– Lauren
K: No, he said he wanted to meet about it tmrw to discuss it overall
Me: With both of us or just you?
K: I think with me and MJ
Me: You and Michael Jordan? OMG!!!!!!!
K: Well, we're two of the best basketball players of all time, so we meet almost everyday
“Yeah, now. Come to my office. Pronto.” I want to tell him that normal people do not use the word “pronto”, unless they’re kidding or playing Scrabble. - Rachel, to her boss, from Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Yes, yes, I know I’m about 7 years behind just reading this book now, but they’ve made a movie from it, and I know I won’t read it...
I have a confession to make. After really...
during a long and tedious one-on-one meeting...
coworker: (babbling on about nothing, getting nowhere slowly)
me: (grab a sticky note, begin to write a personal reminder)
coworker: (steals a glance at my note...) Did you just write yourself a reminder to 'jump out window'?
me: Um, no, I was reminding myself to remember my jump drive. (thinking: Is it really that clear that I'm hating my life right now?)
Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours of...– Chelsea Handler (My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands) Chelsea Handler is coming to DC next week and I want to go SO BADLY! (via csanvido) Ditto! Coll and I would LOVE to go to her show!